I had just entered college to study pure sciences with a bad reputation as a quitter. I had quit engineering after two semesters as I found the course not complimenting with my vision of life. I was always fond of arts like writing, literature and music. The very imagination of my family’s reaction to my transition from Engineering to Arts was extremely horrific, given the reputation an arts education had in the early 2000s. Especially in a South Indian Brahmin household. Therefore I chose the middle ground of Pure Sciences. My family’s reaction was not horrific but the three years was quite a mental torture. All the adults around me were looking at me in a way that would make me feel like I was a misguided arrow heading towards a disastrous destiny.  

While this was a struggle in itself, I was also not able to successfully uproot and discard my love for music and writing. I tried my best to not allow myself to explore these things beyond the comfort of my bathroom. Every year I would give my name to audition for the music club in my college and not show up. During this time while I kept denying my love for music, writing and art in general, I came to know that my cousin brother Pavan with a few of his friends had started a band in Mysore. While he existed in a home similar to mine, he had the courage to face the consequences of being an art student and on top of it being a part of a folk rock band called Swarathma. While this could have caused great jealousy in me if I was not denying my love for a similar life, I was filled with a sense of happiness, curiosity and excitement to see a fellow Brahmin boy from South India being ripped apart by family and society for not becoming a Doctor or an Engineer. Jokes apart, it filled me with genuine happiness and a desire to be associated and see how he is managing to do this. 

I remember clearly the first day I went to one of their Jam sessions back in 2003. It was in a room at Vasu’s house in Mysore. The Band then had  bass guitarist Abhinanth, violinist Arjun, my brother Pavan on the percussion and Vasu as the vocalist and he also played acoustic guitar. This was the first time I was encountering live music from such an intimate proximity. Their songs and their spirit blew my mind. I hadn’t seen anything like that before. An intoxicating mix of Western sounds and Indian semi-classical elements with a topping of folk and rock music. Kannada, Hindi and a few English songs coming together to resonate the evening unfolding in the beautifully paced city of Mysore. This house of Vasu was opposite the house of Shri Kuvempu, who is one of the great poets and writers of Karnataka and Kannada. The setting couldn’t have been more magical. The other band members were very friendly and welcoming of my presence. I can still feel the pride that emerged in me for my brother and his band mates who had somehow managed to fight their way to follow their hearts. This magical moment led me to shadow the band helping them out with their travel, jams and shows doing odd jobs.

Swarathma gave me my first paycheck. I am calling it a paycheck as it sounds cool but in reality it was thousand rupees cash handed to me by Vasu after we sat down to do all the accounts following a college show in Bangalore. This was at his bachelor pad in Bangalore. By this time Swarathma was a band with its members juggling full time jobs and music. I was in college and I would be there whenever the band got together for a show and be of any help that I could. I just loved the Band, its members and the music they created. I was happy to be associated with them in any way possible. 

I feel lucky to be a witness to many  defining moments of Swarathma as a band during their initial days. One of them was winning Radio City Live. Back in early 2000s FM radio was big and this was one of the biggest battles of the bands across India.  I saw many popular rock bands from India perform from backstage. I also saw the rock star lifestyle and the emotional and social intricacies of being part of a Band. There was a finale event as a part of this competition in which they performed at the Palace Grounds in front of a huge crowd alongside bands like Parikrama. After this performance, my brother Pavan was so overwhelmed that he broke down in the arms of Vasu inside the greenroom. I was there like a fly on the wall witnessing the triumph of creative and courageous hearts over fearful and speculative minds. 

The band started doing shows more frequently and my presence got more regular and I started taking more responsibility. Around the beginning of my final year at college I had organically assumed the role of the manager of the band. I got to interact with clients and guest artists, travel a bit with the band and look after their logistics. The band members always gave me a gentle push to do things I had never done before. This was so important for replenishing a sense of self worth in me as I was struggling with this image of a failure after dropping out of my engineering. Around this time Montry had joined the band as a drummer. Some shows would end with a party and sleepover at Montry’s place. I remember telling Vasu on one such night that I love to be with the band because you guys are living a dream of mine that I do not have the confidence to live. Overall my journey with Swarathma as a band in its formative years was the best thing that happened to me during the three years of my graduation. It gave me the strength to deal with the humiliation that I was facing from myself and the world around me.  This journey gave me so much confidence that during my final semester I landed a Job at a Multinational company. I saw this as a huge personal victory. My designation was called technical support engineer. I was so happy to get this without having an engineering degree. I remember my interviewer being impressed knowing about my association with Swarathma. I strongly feel this was the reason they gave an IT job to a Life Science graduate. Irony is that this job offer came alongside the offer to become the official manager for Swarathma. Again I chose to go with the speculative mind and took up the IT job. I wanted some redemption from the image of a dropout. My imagination of how people would react if I transitioned from a dropout to manager of Swarathma did not look very pleasant. 

The year 2022 is just about to end and Swarathma is celebrating ten years since their second album came out and twenty odd years since they formed. I have had a journey of my own and slowly coming to terms with my inevitable love for writing and music. Another personal victory for me was to be able to write a song that Swarathma made for their first Kannada feature Film in 2019. I have taken some baby steps as an independent singer-songwriter now with the gracious support of Varun who is  the guitarist of Swarathma. Irrespective of its quality, I love to see myself making music. My time with the band has got a lot to do with this understanding. Swarathma might be aware of its many fans across the country and the world, however I am not sure if they know about the many lives they have touched in ways that they might not know. They have done this just by being true followers of their hearts and showing people how to fight the paralysis caused by fearful and calculative minds. The reason they were loved was because the spirit of their music was all about following the heart. Some of their popular songs like “Jana kahan hai mujhe”, “Kulja re” and “ee bhoomi” litterally depict this value. I wish that they continue to create the same kind of magic in the coming years. 

Thank you Swarathma

Love Skanda

Swarathma after a performance at this Venue in Koramangala, Bangalore called the Unwind Centre. Along with the unwind centre staff right at the back it is Montry, Abhinanth, Pavan, Vasu,  Kaushal, Arjun and  the boy sitting on the stool is me. This must be the year 2006.

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