Friendships and relationships need not be standardised
Got the news of the passing away of a good friend last week. Since then I have been trying to make sense of the way I am feeling. As a 35 year old man I am not very used to the news of friends passing away. I was expecting this after I turned 60. Now I am not quite sure if I am going to see the sunrise on my sixtieth birthday. Times are strange and the air is full of news of people passing on to the other side.
This friend of mine and I shared a great bond during the time we both were classmates studying bachelors. It was three of us who constantly hung out with each other and I think this trio was a result of an organic distillation process that happened during the initial few months of our joining college. We got along with others in the class too but we felt most comfortable with each other for reasons unknown to us. Our personalities were very different but they somehow complemented each other. I can only feel immense gratitude when I remember those days. This friendship was so important to me. The memories of those times reminds me of how precious human life is and how valuable friendship is.
College ended and as most stories go, the three of our trajectories were different and we moved in different directions. Our last class trip in college was to Goa and the three of us naively got a picture clicked at the famous spot of the movie “Dil Chahta Hai” where there is a scene in which three friends are discussing the inevitability of drifting away from each other.
We did try to stay in touch and as time passed our priorities shifted and we all had different scripts to enact. The two of them got married much before me. I attended their weddings. We did make the effort to know each other’s wearabouts once a year on average.
Friendships and relationships need not be standardised. Some remain an active part of our lives and some don’t for reasons generally unknown to us. However this does not make them less special. Each one of them would have left its own, uniquely beautiful impression on our life’s journey. This news of my friend reminds me to take a moment to acknowledge all my friendships. Friendships that were brief and long lasting, bittersweet and nourishing, protective and fun filled, exciting and deep, argumentative and accepting, and the list can go on.
Tomorrow it could be one of our turns to go and when that news goes out I want the world to know that I was a person who really valued friendships. I loved each and everyone of them. There is great beauty in my journey because of all my friends and the times we have had with each other.
Just putting it out there, for reasons unknown to me. 🙂
Skanda
03/05/2021
Skanda Subrahmanya
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Josef Stalin once said and I quote- A million deaths is a statistic, one death is a tragedy.
The enormity of loss is understood when someone we know is gone forever. That person need not be a great friend. Even a vague connection is enough to make the loss personal.
Very true Nandini. Thank you for sharing
Your have written it the best… but god was bad at writing his fate…..
We miss him and yes those days have become memories now.
Nostalgic reading and picture, Skanda. You guys were inseparable!
I love you ❤️
Those were the special days and your writing towards friendship shows how much u value Ur friends. . Take care Skanda. . we miss Him. .
oh dear, thanks for sharing Skanda. Loss and death are perhaps the aspects of life that are kept in the shadows. I pray for your friend and celebrating the life and friendships he would have lived.
Simple and beautiful. It really is friendships that make our life joyful, meaningful and remarkable.
Thank you Sneha.